°oooo OOO 



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@p. 



Or. f\ /naoa^er's 5rial5. 
A Musical comedy, in four acts. 
By E. |H ''/:i9der809. 



WASHINGTON, 1887. 



O O O O O O O 



O O O O O 



/ 



@p, 



Or, p n)aoa§er's Srials. 

A MUSICAL COMEDY, IN FOUR ACTS. 

By E.\\. pi7dersoi?, 



jf 




WASHINGTON. 1687. 
ENTERED ACCORDING TO THE ACT OF •ONCRESS, 

BY E. H. ANDERSON. 



Seepery. 



ACT I.— Elegant parlor or library set: full stage; fire in grate. 
ACT II.— The theatre at morning rehearsal; stage in confusion. 
ACT III.— Specialties. Any sets will do. 
ACT IV.— Stock's rooms; box set, library furniture; three screens. 



properties. 



ACT I. — Elegant parlor or library set, carpet down, fire burning in grate, table 
R., footstool in front of table, on table casket of papers — will, poem, pen and ink, 
bell in O. P. R, feather duster for Pompey, dishpan and cloth for Chip, letter for 
Pompey, telegraph blank and envelope for Belmont. 

ACT 11. — Table covered with papers, etc., R: two chairs, set bank, 2 combat 
.swords for Stock and Belmont, dress sword for Carmen, revolver for Stock, wand, 
garland and axe for Arabella, cloak for .Stock, prompt book for Stock, soap box, red 
glass and candle for Arabella, purse for Belmont. 

ACT III. — Two letters, .Stock and Arabella, rope and hoop for Chip. 

ACT IV..— Library, different from Act I; elegant furniture; 3 screens, red table 
cloth, books and ornaments, hand-satchel containing bundle bank-notes, gold' 
jewel-box for Belmont, letter for Chip, 6 wine glasses, decanter half full of wine' 
overcoat for Arabella. 



§05tume5. 



ACT I.— Crabb, plain suit, present day; gray, half bald wig. Mrs. Crabb, present 
day costume, false front. Stock, .seedy suit, half bald wig. Belmont, present day 
costume. Chip, torn frock and apron, hair down. Arabella, cork-screw curls, 
black old maid dress. Pompey, white jacket, negro wig. 

ACT. II. — Carmen, streetcostume,hat and wrap, in burlesque, cavalier suit, dress 
sword. Belmont, in burlesque, cavalier suit loud color, sword, whiskers and mous- 
tache. Stock, in burlesque cloak, slouch hat, sword. Pompey same as Act I. Ara- 
bella, street costume, wrap, hat, in burlesque, pink tights, blue ballet skirts and 
waist, curls. Chip, street dress, wrap, hat, in burlesque rich dress, but short. 

ACT III. — Stock, evening dress. Belmont, evening dress. Carmen, evening dress. 
Chip specialty dress, tights. Arabella, ballet dress, street shoes, waterproof. Crabb, 
same as Act I. 

ACT IV. — Stock same as Act III. Arabella same. Pompey same. Belmont , 
street costume, changing to Court costume. Carmen, same. Chip, street costume, 
wrap, hat, changing to evening dress. Crabb same. 



TMPS2-008585 



<Sa5t of (?f7araet(^rs. 



CHIP. A WAIF 

C ARM ENITTA. a prima donna, seeking her sister. 
ARAB EL/LA a giddy maiden offorty-five gentle summers 

AND a few hard FALLS. WITH A FONDNESS FOR THE BALLET. 

MRS. CRABB, a lady Macbethian personage, and chief 
OPPRESSOR OF Chip. 

CRABB, An Impostor, impersonatingSir Reginald Bruce. 

STOCK A Theatrical manager in hard luck, but who gets 

^ » there just THE SAME. 

RRTvMONT* anxiousto becomea tenor, but more anxious 

l-»Lui^LyX\Jl.^ A. , FOR CHIP. 

POMP CHIP'S Prime-Minister, aider and abetor in general. 
' Servant TO Crabb. 



prolo<^ije. 



Reginald Bruce, son of Sir Arthur Bruce, an Knglish baronet, having displeased 
his father by marrying an actress, emigrated with his wife to America, where he 
lived for many years under an assumed name, and in comparative poverty. Dur- 
ing this period his wife died, leaving two children; the eldest of whom. Carmen by 
name, having inherited her mother's musical talent, was sent to Italy to complete 
her musical education. While she was still there and her younger sister Elsa was 
still a mere infant. Sir Arthur died, leaving a mes.sage of love and forgiveness for 
his son, now Sir Reginald, who accompanied by his infant daughter and one Nico- 
demus Crabb, his business partner, and Crabb's wife, at once started for England to 
claim his estates. Before starting, however, he made a will, leaving his personal 
property to Carmen and "The Elms", the family residence, to P'lsa, which will he 
entrusted to Crabb. On the voyage he sickened and was nursed by Crabb and wife. 
During this illness Mrs. Crabb, learning that the person of Sir Reginald was un- 
known in England, conceived the idea of poisoning Sir Reginald and having Crabb 
impersonatehim,andthussecure the estate for themselves; which diabolical plan was 
successfully carried out, and our play opens in the home of Crabb, now Sir Regi- 
nald Bruce. 

Several years have elapsed, during which time the baby, Elsa, has grown uv^ 
almost to womanhood. Crabb, on claiming the estates, gave out that he had only 
one daughter, Carmen, who was dead; and to account for the presence of El.sa, or 
Chip, as she is now called, says that he fo\ind her in the streets, a friendless waif 
and adopted her. 




9 
Or. p /Har^a^er's Jr\a\s. 

ACT. I. 

TIUME OF CrABB, now SiR REGINALD BrUCE. 

Mr. and Mrs. Crabb discovered, Crahb looking over 

casket of papers finds will, which he examines. 

Mrs. Crabb. I tell you she shall march; Til not stand 
her nonsense another day. 

Mr, Crabb Tut, tut, my dear, nothing of the kind; 
Chip shall stay, I've done lier harm enough already — not 
to turn out into the street— why the very roof over our 
hea<ls belongs to her. 

Mrs. C So much the more reason for getting rid 
of her, you don't know when the hussy will tiiid some 
of those papers you have so foolishly kept and turn us all 
into the street, "beggars-- What's that in your hand ? 

?4r C. This, my dear, is the will ^f Chip's father; 
when the poor man died in my arms lie confided it to me 
iind I swore to preserve it, and I have. 

Mrs. C Yes, by suppressing it; give it to we. 

Mr. C. No, no. It's safe enough, she does not dream 
she is the mistress of the "Kims". Why add this un- 
liccessary gnilt to my already ovcri»uidened conscience? 

Mrs C. Stuff and nonsense ! You were n<)t always 
s) squeamish about trifles; when Sir Arthur died, leav. 



2 CHIP, OR A manager's TRIALS. 

ing the "Elms" and all his t'ortuDe to his two children, 
Elsa and (barmen, you were not in such haste to notify 
the dear child who was ahroad, or the dear little one "at 
home, that they were heiresses, not much, you acted like 
a man of sense, pocketed the papers, buried Sir Reginald, 
came to England in his place, claimed and got the estate, 
and now who are you? why, Sir Reginald Bruce, Baronet, 
and member of the Royal Academy, and all owing to 
what? My skill and nerve, 

Mr. C. Say rather to my weakness and your \illainy. 

Mrs. C. Villainy by which you were ready to profit. 

Mr. C. Well, at all events. Carmen is in no danger 
of poverty, with her magnificent voice she has, without 
doubt, succeeded in captivating some old nobleman; Elsa 
I have brought up as my own daughter, and will some 
day inherit my estate. Sometimes I think 1 will tell 
her all. 

Mrs. C. Do, and add that yours is the hand that 
killed her father. 

Mr. C. What do you mean ? You know very well 
that I nursed him tenderly through his last illness, and 
that mine was the hand that administered the last 
draught of medicine that passed his lips. 

M rs. C. Aye, and with reason, for that draught ended 
the life of Sir Reginald Bruce; without it he would have 
recovered, seeing this, I, well, I fixed it, 

Mr. C. Murderess ! 

Mrs. C. But yours was the hand that did the deed. 

Mr. C. (Buries hands in face.) 

Mrs, (', Now will you burn that paper? you poor weak 
niiserable smipleton, without me you would be as weak 
and purposeless as ttiat idiotic sister of yours who spends 
her time writing. wishy-washy poetry. Bah ! The whole 
house is littered with her rubbish, look at this (reads) 

" Pale moon, thy silvery light — " 
(Tears poetry) I wish I could twist her neck as easily — 
Tears papers and will in half, and throws them in Ara- 
bella's face, who enters in time to receive them. 
Arabella screams. 



CHIP, OR, A manager's TRIALS, 3 

Arabella. Oh! my precious poem, they have de- 
stroyed thee 

Snatches up papers and thrusts them into her bosom 

and exits. 

Mrs. C. A tine specimen truly, some morning she will 

disgrace us all by running oft' with a barber disguised as a 

foreign Count or go on the stage and make an exhibition 

ofus'all. Bah! 

Mrs, Crabb tears up balance (;f papers and throws 

them into fire and exits. Crabb attempts to save 

papers, finds half of will, which he is endeavoring 

to conceal when Pompey ushers in Stock. 

Stock Ah, my dear Sir Ueginald, I am deliglited to 

see you. 

Mr. C. Yes, my dear Manager Stock, I was wishing 
to see you on a little matter of business; the fact is, I ex- 
pect to be appointed a member of the committee of the 
Uoyal Academy on Statuary and have invited the whole 
committee down to visit me and view my statues, and 
there ain't any statues about the place; now what I want 
3'ou to do is to secure me some statues of myself, family 
and ancestors, don't forget my ancestors, as it won't do 
for them to come here and find no statuary in my baro- 
nial halls. 

Sto. I am deliglited, my dear sir, if, m his humble way, 
\hinager Stock can be of any assistance to Sir Reginald; 
I shall execute your commission and before the week is 
ended you can expect your statues. And now, Sir Regi- 
nald, I have a favor to beg of you on my own acuount, 
my business lately having fallen oft' considerably, I find 
myself on the eve of my approaching benefit and the 
greatest success of my life, tor which I liave enga£!:ed 
M'lle Carmenitta, the peerless Italian Prima Donna, with 
whose piaise all Italy rings, and with whom success is as- 
sured; my rascally company taking advantage of the 
situation den. and all the salary that is due them, and I 
find myself in the alternative of paying t hem £500, which 
I do not possess, or leaving myself without a compan)', 
and knowing your fondness for fine arts and the drama, 
I venture to ask you for tho^ temporary loan of this sum 



4 CHIP, OR, A manager's TRIALS. 

knowing that you would take pleasure in thus obliging 
me ? 

Crabb daring this speech has been buttoning up iiis 
pockets. 

Mr. C. Certainly, certainly my dear sir, but £500 
is quite another matter; 1 don't mind puroliasing any 
resoijable number of tickets for your benelit, but as for 
running your theatre, 1 would advise you to ai)ply to— 
(Knter Arabella.) to— Arabella there. 

Exit Crabl). 

Ara. Oh! Mr. JStock, is that you ? I'm so glad to see 
you. i want to read my last poem, it's too lovely for 
anything, listen — 

■' The pule moon basked in its silvery light, 

The tiowers incensed the zephyrs of the night, 
AVhile I si and here so timid with fright, 
V r\in^ where, oh! where is my lover to-night V " 

Sto. Capital, capital, you should publish it. 

Ara. That's just what I'm dying to do. Will you, 
that is, can you tmdertake the commission ? 

Sto. Oh! certainly. 

Ara. But see 'tis torn in half, my [)oor [)oem is torn 
in halt. 

yxo. (Tragically ) Who could have done this deed? 

Ara. 'Twas Lady Reginald and you had better take 
them quick or she may return at any moment. 

Stock takes papers and thrusts them into pocket. 

Sto. You're a ujreat genius: when I o-aze on vou I 
loel myself inspired (aside) to go and drown myself. 
Ara. Oil ! Mr. Stock. 

Sto. (Burlesquing.) What an ornament you would 
have been to the stage. 

Ara. Mr. Stock, you flatter me, but do you really 
mean it ? 

Sto. Certainly; actors, like newspaper men, mean 
everything they say. 

Ara. Oh! how nice, but seriously, I'm goiLg to tell 
you a secret, I'm going on the stage. 



CHIP, OR. A manager's TRIALS. 5 

Sto. You ! A singer perhaps ? 

Ara. No. I've a great mind not to tell you. Yes, I 
will, you won't laugh at rae, will you. I'm going to (il- 
lustrates.) Do you think I could become Queen of the 
Ballet. (Sings.) 

With a ring on my finger and a bell on my toe, 
I'll carry music wherever I go. 

Sto. Doubtless. 

Disgusted, but aft'ects rapture. Enter Chip with 
dish-pan and cloth, sings and burlesques. 

Chip. Oh, she was all the rage, the princess of the stage, 
Was Madamoiselle the Parisian belle, 
The pet of the pantomine. 

Arabella screams and faints in Stock's arms. 

who is disgusted, hides disgust and sings in 

highly exaggerated manner — 

Sto Who'll care for Birdie now, who'll care for Birdie now. 
Who'll come and take her, for I'd like to shake her. 
Who'll care for Birdie now? 

Ara. I'll care for Birdie now, now and forever. 

(-hip nurses and makes love to dishpan. 

Sto. Alas! beauteous maiden, it can never be, for the 

lack of a paltry £500 William H. Shakespeare _ Stock 

gazes for the last time into those beautiful orbs of azure 

hue. 

Ara. £500 did you say, love? Why E've got that 
sum deposited in the bank; you shall have it all, my own, 
and we'll live ever happy in the realms of love, romance 
and poetry. 

During speech Chip burlesques the action with 
pan and rag. 
Sto. £500! Great jumping Jupiter! Come to my arms 
my angel, (aside) my Jo- Jo. 

Tableau, interrupted by Pompey, who yells "rats" 
Arabella jumi)S into chair with screams, Stock 
chases Pompey off". Arabella resuming, lays 
head on Stock's shoulder. 
Ara. And darling, will you really return my love? 
Chip, ('ertainly. He's got no earthly use for it. 



6 CHIP, OR, A manager's TRIALS. 

Exit Chip, pursued by Arabella. Arabella re- 
turns to Stock. 

Ara. Will you always love me? 

Business of striking hand on heart and nod- 
ding head. 
Sto. Can you doubt it? 

Arabella throws herself into his arms. 
Ara. And will you allow me to play the Fairy Queen? 

Stock looks over shoulder and makes grimace 
Knock heard outside, Stock endeavors to 
disengage himself from her embrace and 
succeeds just in time to get her off as Pom- 
pey enters with letter. 
PoMPKY. Note for Massa Stock. 

Exit Pompey. Stock sits at table and reads. 

Sto. Sir: I have been deputed by the company to 
inform you that owing to your infamous conduct and 
failure to keep your engagement with us this morning in 
reference to the matter of salary now due us, I hereby 
tender the resignation of the whole company, to take ef- 
fect at once: and as we have accepted an o[»eratic en- 
gagement with an American manager and sail to-day, 
you will probably never again see 

YOUlf LATK STOCK COMPANY. 

Great jumping Jupiter! my entire company gone! What 

support have I for .VPlle Camienitta. Here's a state of 

things. What shall I do — and my rehearsal to-morrow. 

Where can I get people in time for the performance? 

Sits at table in deep thought, business of go- 
ing ihrough pockets,tind8 poem and is about 
to throw it into tire, when ho perceives will . 

Sto. What's this — "Last will of Sir Reginald" — seems 
to be a will torn in half — Sir Keginald who? — "Leave all 
my property — "darling Carmen"— "to my youngest daugh- 
ter Elsa 'The Elms' ",why that's this place! Some mystery 
here! Sir Reginald, I wonder if its Sir Reginald Bruce! 
It must be, and Carmen must be the daughter whom he 
told me died. Elsa! who is Elsa — Cliip! (enter Chip) 



CHIP, OR. A manager's TRIALS. 7 

Chip, come here a moment, I want to ask you something. 
Did Sir Reginald ever have any children? 

Ch. Only Miss Carmen, who died. 

Sto. No other, are you sure? 

Ch. No other. 

Sto And you, Chip. How did you come into this 
family? 

Ch. Oh! Sir Reginald found me in a snow-drift, one 
Christmas eve. 

Sto. Oh! you were a Christmas gift, were you. 

Ch. Reckon I was, 

Sto. Picked up in a snow-drift. How did you oome 
into that snow-drift? 

Ch. Dunno. 

Sto. Have you no recollection of any other home than 
this? 

Ch No; I never lived in any other place, only when 
I was a baby in America, they say, but — 

Sto. But what? 

Ch. But it sometimescomes to me, like a dream, that 
at one time loving arms embraced n.e — 

Sto. Your mother? 

Ch. No, I don't think it was my mother, but some 
one who loved me very much and who called me — 

Sto. What ? 

Ch. Called me— called me— Elsa! 

Sto. Elsa! Something wrong here, 

Ch. Why do you look so strange and talk to me like 
that? 

Sto. Nothing, child, nothing. I'll see further into 
this, (places will in pocket-book) but the present emer- 
o-ency is my stock companv. Where can I get it, what 
shalfr do? 

Bell rings, Chip rushes to the door and re- 
turns with Belmont, Stock sits at table in 
deep thought. 



8 CHIP, OR, A MANAQER'S TRIALS. 

Ch. Oh! Charlie, how glad I am to see you, 
Belmont. Yes, dear Chip, but I've come on a sad er- 
rand; I've come to say farewell, at least for the present, 
little girl. 

Oh. Oh! Charlie, you're surely not going to leave me, 
without you I shall go mad, everyone here is so cross and 
hateful to me, they scold and beat me from morning till 
night; surely my only friend in the world will not desert 
me. 

Bel. ^ Yes, Httie one I must, it's hard to leave you, 
but 'twill only be for a short time; I'm going to make 
my fortune, and I will return soon a wealthy man and 
claim you little one. and take from this wretched abode 
of affectation and gilded misery. 

Ch. Oh! Charlie, how perfectly lovely, but what are 
you going to do? 

Bel. Do! I'm going to carve my way to fortune 
and to Chip, I'm going to be an actor, a singer. 

Stock interested. 
Song. — Eklmont. 

A wanderinsj minstrel I — 

A thing of shreds and patches; 

Of ballads, songs and snatches, 
And dreamy lullaby ! 

My cataloaue is long, 

Through every passion ranging. 

And to your humors changing 
I tune my supple song ! 

Ch. How perfectly Splendid! But (Miarlie, why not 
take me with you, I can sing too, I'm at it all the time 
when they don't see me, and I know most all of the 
Mikado, I learnt it out of that book thing that Whs 
Arabella brought home from the theatre, Ponipev hook- 
ed it, and we studied every word of it. 

Bel. You did, did you, you have a great head Chip, 
but I'm afraid you can't ping very much. 

Enter Pompey with feather- duster, to dust room. 
Ch. But I just can, are you ready? 
Pomp. Let her go Gallagher. (Poses with duster.) 



CHIP, OR A manager's TRIALS. 



SoKG. — Chip. 

The sun whose rays 
Are all ablaze 

With ever-living glory, 
Does not deny 
His majesty. 

He scorns to tell a story ! 
He don't exclaim, 
" I blush for shame 
So kindly be indulgent " 
But, fierce and bold. 
In fiery gold, 

He glories all effulgent ! 
I mean to rule the earth 

As he the sky, 
We really knovF our worth, 
The sun and I. 

Observe his flame, 
That placid dame, 

The moon's celestial Highness ; 
There's not a trace 
Upon her face 

Of diflidence or shyness : 
She borrows light 
That, through the night, 

Mankind may all acclaim her ! 
And, truth to tell. 
She lights up well. 

So I, for one don't blame her ! 
Ah, pray make no mistake. 

We are not shy ; 
We're very wideawake. 
The moot] and T. 

Bel. Why little one, that's splendid, you can sing a 
little bit. 

Ch. Well I should say, Pompey are you with me? 

Duet. — Chip and Pomp. 

Chip. Two little maids from school are we, 

Pert as schoolgirls well can be. 
Filled to the brim with girlish glee. 

Two little maids from school ! 

Chip. Everything is a source of fun ( chuckle. ) 

PcMP. Nobody's safe, for we care for none ! [chuckle.] 

chip. Lite is a joke that's just begun ! [chuckle ] 

Both. Two little maids from school ! 

All. [d.^ncing.] Three little maids who, all unwary, 

Come from a Htlies seminary, 

Freed from its trenius tutelary. 



10 CHIP, OR, A manager's TRIALS. 

All [Suddenly demuke.] Three little maids from school ! 

Chip, One little maid is a bride, Yum-Yum — 

Pomp. Two little maids in attendance come — 

Bel. Three little maids is the total sum. 

All. Three little maids from school ! 

Chip. From three little maids take one away — 

Pomp. Two little maids remain, and they — 

Bel. Won't have to wail very long, they say — 

All. The three little maids from school ! 

All. [Dancing] Three little maids who, all unwary. 
Come from a ladies' seminary. 
Freed from its genius tutelary — 

Both. [Suddenly demure.] Three little maids from school ! 

Sto. The verj thin.o;; I'll take theni and with the 
prima donna, and what actors I <an get together, we'll 
give a beautiful performance. (Joins group and sings.) 

Duet. — Belmont and Stock. 

Sto. The actors that skip in the spring, 

tra la. 
Don't bother the .show worth a cent. 
For we'll let them all go on their wild goose chase 
And engage this whole family to play in their place. 
For on acting they all seem bent. 
For on acting they all seem bent; 

And that's what we mean when we say or we sing. 
Oh, bother the actors that skip in the spring, 
tra, la, la, la, la. la etc 
tra, la, la, la la. la, etc. 

Bel. The flowers that bloom in the spring, 

tra la 
Breathe promise of merry sunshine. 
As we merrily dance and sing. 

tra la. 
We welcome the hope that they bring, 
tra la. 
Of a summer of roses and wine ; 

And that's what we mean when we say that a thing 
Is welcome as flowers that bloom in the spring. 
Tra la la la la la, etc. 

Stock. The flower.s that bloom in the spring 

tra la, 
Have nothing to do with the case. [Enter Ara. danc- 
I've got to take under my wing, [ing, Stock makes face, 
tra la, [.She poses.] 

A most unattractive old thing, 
ira la. 



CHIP, OR A manager's trials. 11 

With a caricature of a face; 
And that's what I mean when I say or I sing, 
Oh, bother the flowers that bloom in the spring, 
tra, la, la, la, la, la, etc. 

Stock struts up and down, all point to him and sing. 

Chorus. 

Behold the Lord High Executionerl 
A personage of noble rank and title — 

A dignified and potent officer. 
Whose functions are particularly vital. 

Defer, defer ! 
To the Lord High Execulioner ! 

At the end of which Stock 8ino:;8 

Song. — Stock. 

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found, 

I've got a little list. — I've got a little list 
Of society oflenders who miaht well be under gronnd 
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed 

There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs. 
All people wlio have flabby hands and irritating laughs, 
All children who are up in dates, and floor you with 'em flat, 
All persons who in shaking hands shake hands with you like that, 
And all third persons who on spoiling tbte-a-tetes insist — 
They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed ! 

Chorus 

H(;'s got 'em on the list — he's got, 'em on the list ; 

And they'll n jne of em be missed — they'll none of 'era be missed. 

There's the nigger serenader, and the others of his race. 

And the pia lo organist, I've got him on the list ; 
And the people who eat peppermint and pufif it in your face, — 

They never would bi missed — they never would be missed ! 
Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone. 
All centuries but this, and every country but his own ; 
And the lady from the provinces, who dressps like a guy, 
And who " doesn't think she walizes, " but would rather like to try ; 
And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist, — 

I don't think she'd be missed — I'm sure she'd not be missed ! 

One liical verse with alhision to Arabella. Ara- 
bella offended. Business of Arnl)ella and Stock 
making up. 

Song — Stock. 

On a tree, bj^ a river, a little torn tit, 

Sang "Willow, titwillow. titwillow!" 

And I said to him "Dicky bird, why do you sit 
Sinijing 'Willow", titwillow, titwillow'? 



12 CHIP, OR, A manager's TRIALS. 

''Is it weakness of intellect, birdie?" I cried, 
'Or a rather tough worm in your little inside?" 
With a shake of his poor little head, he replied, 
"Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!" 

He slapped at his chest, as he sat on that bough. 

Singing "Willow, titwillow, titwillow!" 
And a cold perspiration bespangled his brow, 

Oh willow, titwillow, titwillow! 
He sobbed and he sighed, and aguralehe gave. 
Then he threw himself into the billowy wave, 
And an echo arose from the suicide's grave— 

'Oh willow, titwillow, titwillow!" 

Now I feel just as sure as I'm sure that my name 

Isn't willow, titwillow. titwillow, 
That 'twas blighted uffectioa that made him exclaim. 

"Oh willow, titwillow, titwillow!" 
And if you remain callous and obdurate, I 
Shall perish as he did and you will know why. 
Though I probably shall not exclaim as I die, 

"Oh willow, titwillow. titwillow!" 

Ara. Did he really die of love? 

Stock. He really did. 

Ara. All on account of a crnel little hen? 

Sto. Yes. 

Ara. Poor little chap! 

Sto. It's an aft'ecting tale, and quite true, I knew the 
bird intimately. 

Ara. Did you? He must have been very fond of her! 

Sto. His devotion was something extraordinary. 

Ara. Poor little chap! And -and if I refuse you, 
will you go and do the same? 

Sto. At once, 

Ara. No, no — you mus'nt! Anything but that! Oh, 
I'm such a silly little goose! 

Sto. You are. 

Ara. And you won't hate me because I'm just a 
teeney, weeney wee little bit gi'ldy and — and poetical? 
will you? 

Sto. Hate you? Oh! Arabella, is there not always 
beauty in the antique? ( When its lit up with a .£500 cal- 
cium. J 

Ara My idea exactly. 



CHIP, OR A xManager's trials. 13 

Ddet. — Stock and Arabella. 

Sto. There is beauty ia extreme old age — 

Do you fancy you are elderly eaoughV 
Information I'm requesting 
On a subject interesiing: 
Is a maiden all the better when she's tough'? 

Ara. Throughout this wide dominion 

It's the general opinion 
That she'll last a good deal longer when she's tough. 

Sto. Are you old enough to marry, do you think? 

Won't you waif, till you are eighty in the shal ;? 
There's a fascination frantic 
In a ruin that's romantic; 
Do you think you are sufficiently decayed? 

Ara. To the matter that you mention 

I have given some attention 
And I think lam sufficiently decayed. 

Both. If that is so, 

Sinw;(ierry, down d(MTy! 
It's evident, very, 
Our raster are one! 
Away we'll sro, 

And merrily marry, 
N(,r ta'dilv tarrv 
Till day" is done! 

Cii For he'll go and get married, Yum-Yum — 

Alt,. Yum-Yum! 

Ch. Your anger pray bury. 

For all will be merry, 
I think you had better succutub — 

All. Cumb — cumb ! 

Alt,. And join our expressions of glee ! 

C'lT. On the subject, I praj^ you be dumb — 

All. Dumb — dumb ! 

Sto. Your notions, though many. 

Are not worth a penny. 
The word for your guidance is "Mum" — 

All. jMum — mum ! 

All, With joyous shout and rin2:ing cheer, 

Inaugurate our new career ! 
Then let the throng, etc. 

Sto. C-apital ; the veiy idea. Now if you all meet me 
at the Theatfe Royal at ten to-morrow, I'll introduce you 
to the halaiice of the con.pany I shall gather together, 
and we shall put the uew piece into rehearsal at once. 

E.vit Stock. Business of all beiitsr merrv- 



14 CHIP, OR, A manager's TRIAL3. 

Pomp. Oh! golly, a real theatre, 

Ch. But do you think we'll do? 

Bel. Of course we'll do. 

Ara. I'm sure I'll catch on. 

Pomp. You'll catch on to anj- thing. 

Ch. That'll he perfectly splendid; but how are we to 
get away? Sir Reginald will never consent. 

Bel. Oh! bother Sir Reginald. I havn't been a tele- 
graph operator for nothing. I've a blank here. (Sits 
and writes.) There, I think that will settle him. Pom- 
pey — 

Pomp. Ah, there! 

Bel. Here, take this and chase yourself outside that 
door, pull the door-bell, let yourself in, give this to his 
JMibbs and lay low everybody and watch results. 

All hide. Enter Crabb. 

Crabb. Now where on earth did Heave those specks? 

Bell rings, enter Pompey. 

Pomp. Tellegrum, sah. 

C. What's this, a telegram. (^ reads.) 

Sir Reginald Bruce: 

"The Elms." 
You have been appointed member of the Statuary Com- 
mission of the Royal Academy, and will please report at 
the Committee Rooms, London, at once. 

J. LAMPKIN JONES, Sec'y. 

What an honor; I will invite the whole committee down 
to -'The Elms" for a week, but I've told them the house 
was full of statuary, if Stock goes back on me with those 
figures I'm in a tine pickle. Say, Saraphina! I say, Sara- 
phina, I say! 

Exit Crabb. All emerge from hiding places. 

Bel. I told you he'd swallow it. 

Pomp. Took his dose like a man. 

Ch. Splendid. 

Bel. And to-morrow we'll all actors he. 



CHIP, OR A manager's trials. 15 

Finale to Act I. 

Bel. Haste to morrow, haste to-morrow, 

That makes actors of us all. 
That makes actors of us all 
Thus ending, ending every sorrow ; 
We shall now be fixed for life. 

Ara. For I'm to be Queen of the May, tra la, 

For I'm to be Queen of the May, tra la. 
For I'm to be Queen of the May, tra la. 

[Fails on high note. Burlesque bus. by Pompey.J 

I'm to be Queen of the May. 

Ch. The vintage over, 

Both maid and lover, 
Laughed, danced and played 
Beneath the shade. 
Love is a draught divine. 
Rarer than rarest wine; 
Tlien tied the girls with laughter. 

As if frightened of the men. 
The boys followed after. 

And then, and then, 

Ah, ah, ah, ah. 

Then would they be missing, 

Surely the girls went round about 
So long it took finding them out. 

Ah, ah, ah, ah. 

Till something like kissing. 
Told as plainly as could be, 
Where were he and she. 

All Ah, ah, ah, ah, etc. 

(Curtain.) 



16 CHIP, OR, A manager's TRIALS. 



ACT II. 



Morning Rehearsal. Stage in Confusion. 



Stock discovered at table. 

Sto, Well, at last, here's a way oat of my difficulties, 
not such a way as I would have desired, but yet a way. 
I'll be able to show that uno;rateful company I can ii:et 
along without them. I can give a performance with Bel- 
mont, who, with a little study will make a fair tenor; 
Chip, an undeveloped gold-mine, which having developed 
all the world will hail me as the discoverer of genius; my 
prima donna^ the peerless Carmenitta, and Arabella — oh! 
Arabella, she gives me a pain, still, any port in a storm 
and every stick in a stock company counts (Bell rings 
outside.) Buttons! I say, Buttons — and then last, but 
not least, there is, ladies and gentlemen, your very obe- 
dient servant Wm. II. Shakespea'-e Stock, an actor who — 
(Bell rings.) Buttons! I say Buttons! drat that boy, 
where is he?-- has in his time played many parts-- ( Violent 
bell.) I suppose that bo v has skipped with the rest of 
the company. I'll have to go myself. 

lieturns with Carmen in street costume. 

Ah, my peerless diva, is that you? 

Carmen. Yes, Manager Stock, wishing to have a feu- 
moment's conversation with yon l)ef(»re reheasal I came 
early. Learning last evening of the sudden departure 
of your company — 

Sto But Madame, I discharged my compa>^, because, 
because— (Merciful Heaven! She's onto the whole rack- 
et.) I discharged my company because I had engaged 
you, and I — 

Car. I came early to reassure you, and to say that 
under any and all circnmstances I will keep my contract. 

The mysterious something that impelled me to accejtt 
your otter in preference to those of metropolitan man- 



CHIP, OR A manager's trials. 17 

agers still urges me to sing in this town, The impulse 
that drove me across the continent of Europe cannot err 
'tis here that I learn something, shall gain some inibrm- 
ation that shall perhaps lift the cloud that overshadows 
my life. 

Sto. Will you sit dowfi my dear Madame? iMight I 
venture to inquire, if, in his humble way William H. 
Shakespeare Stock can be of any assistance to that 
bright star — 

Oar. Yes, my dear sir, it is no secret, and I will 
gladly tell you. Years atfo, while I was still at the Con- 
servatorv, my father died abroad. My dear little sister 
Elsa— "^ 

Sto. Elsa! did you say? (Starting up.) 

Car. (Very much excited.) Wbat do you mean, do 
you know anything? 

St(\ No, nothing. Go on, my dear niadame, what 
was your father's name? 

(/AR. Alas! sir, [ cannot tell; I have heard that my 
father wa-s tlieson of an English nobleman, but the name 
he assumed in America was the only one I have ever 
known, on learning of his death I at once hastened home, 
but my dear little sister had disappeared. Tell me, in 
mercy, tell me if yon know anything. 

Sto. Alas! no, madam, I know nothing; but believe 
me T will be your friend and will leave no stone unturned 
to aid you JJut [ may say I share your hope that you 
will soon discover something. (Aside.) I will not raise 
her hopes until L am sure. ( Aloud.) And now, madam, 
confidence for confidence, my rascally company, influ- 
enced by the comedian, by reason of — by reason of — his 
—bit*, well I may say his profes3i()nal jealousy of one 
whose abilities are far above him, whom it is not neces- 
sary to mention, induced the whole company to leave 
witli him from a base feeling of revenge, but with your 
aid I fear nothing. I have secured a tenor, a very clever 
soui)rettc lady and a — a — well, I think we'll call her a 
utility lady, and we vvill be able, doubtless, to secure suffi- 
cient talent to help out tlie performance, for with M'lle 
Carmenitta and Wm. II. Shakespeare Stock at the head 
of the est tlie balance are merelj' stage furniture. 



18 CHIP, OR, A manager's TRIALS. 

Car. You may rely upon me to the utmost. Might 
I venture to ask in wliat composition we appear? 

Sto. Yes, my dear madam, for my approachimr bene- 
fit we appear in a piece of my own composition, it is 
called "Lurline, or, the Village Maiden and the Robber 
Bold." 

Bell rings, enter Pompey. 

Pomp. Am dis heah de teater? Well, ole Massa am 
done gone away and de whole posse coniitatus am a 
coming down de street. 

Enter Chip, Arabella and Helmont. 

Sto. Allow me to present you Miss Arabella, a lad}' 
who WILL act; Mr. Belmont, our tenor, mid lastly but 
by no means leastly, Miss Chip, our soubrctte; M'Ue Car- 
menitta. And now to business, you. Chip, are Lurline, the 
heroine; you, M'Ue, are the faithful lover an.d the res- 
cuer of feminine loveliness. 

Ara. And I play the Fairy Queen. 

Pomp. Ah, there! 

Sto, (Kicking him out.) Stay tliore You, Belmont, 
are the Lordly Villain, while I am the Bobber Chief The 
drama opens in the baronial halls of Lurline's father; 
Lurline is discovered singing mei'ril}' to herself; enter 
the Lordl}' Villain who prolibrs love and is rejected, who 
retreats saying, Ah, ha, fair maiden! you have escaped 
me this time, but you shall be mine. S.:ene 2. — Rockv 
Pass; Lordly Villain and Robber Chief m conference; Vil- 
lain hires robber to al>duct damsel. Scene 3. — l)ense 
wood; enter Robber Chief dragging damsel, who is res- 
cued by Lordly Villain, who is in his turn baffled by the 
Hero. During the combat Lurline runs otf and is lost 
after straying around the woods all day, falls asleep on a 
mossy baidv, where she is found bj the Queen of the 
Fairies. Tableau, end of the first act. Now, ladies and 
gentlemen, astbis is a dress-rehearsal retire to your rooms 
and array yourselves. 

Exit all but Pomp. 

Pomp. Massa Stock, what do 1 act? 

Sto. I hadn't thought of you, suppose you play But- 
tons. 



CHIP. OR A manager's TRIAL6. 19 

Pomp. Button, button, whose got dat ar' button? 
Sto. No, no; Button was the name of my call-boy, 
who ran awa3^ whose place you will till. 

Pomp. What! me be a call-boy, no Pse a actor. 
Sto. Impossible! 

Pomp. 'Scuse me, but maybe you don't know who I 
is. Well, I'll tell you who I is—" 

Business of imitations. Pomp, exits. Chip enters, 
Stock leads Chip down to centre stage. 

Sto. This is your ancestral hall. 

Stock retires to table, 

Song.— Chip. 

Cn. All! When quick flashing fell on me, 

Thnt glance so briijlit and tender. 
My heart would fain surrender 

Ohe, mamma! Ohe, mamma! 
And ere with trembling eagerness 
His faithful love was proffered, • 
Had mine untold been offered. 
Olie, mammal Obe. 

No longer rows the silent bark, 
On gentle repples dancing. 
Oh! vision soul cilrancini!. 

Ohe. mamma! Ohe, mamma! 
Bi-neath a bank of silver cloud 
The radiant moon receded, 
"While drifts the boat unheeded. 
Ohe, mamma! (3he, 

With love divine was heaven o'erspread, 
Love overspread the ocean, 
To him be life's devotion 

Ohe, mamma! Ohe, mamma! 
Oh! what eternal ecstacy. 
Dream as if heavenward taken, 
And now, alas, to waken, 
Ohe, mamma! Ohe 

Enter Belmont as Lordh' Villain. 
Bel. Pair maiden, on bended knee I here make prof- 
fer of my lo\ e.if thou wilt reward my suit with thy lilly 
hand, within my aticestral halls thou shalt reign a Queen. 
Ch. Hold! Sir Knight, 'tis useless, though the hairs 
of thy head were strung with diamonds, I'd not wed 
with thee. 



20 CHIP, OR, A manager's TRIALS. 

Bel. Have a care, rash maiden, how thou dost refuse 
my suit. (Menacingly.) Thou shalt be mine ! 

Advances to seize her, she shrinks back, stamps 
foot, waves her hand. 

Oh. Begone! advance a single step, lay but the weight 
of thy hand on me and I throw you in the well. 

Sto. Throw him in the well, indeed! 

Rushes forward. 

Ch. Well, I can show it to you in my part — here. 

Sto. (Advances, takes part, reads.) Begone! advance 
but a single step, lay but the weight of thy hand on me 
and I'll ring the aUrm-bell. Throw him into the well, 
indeed! 

Ch. Oh!— I'd throw him in the well, that's what Pd 
a wrote. 

Pomp. \Scuse me, young lady, do you want to write 
dis [)iece an act it too? 

Sto. Come! come! ladies and gentlemen, let's get on. 
Exit Lordly Villain vowing vengeaiue. 

Bel. Ah ha, fair maiden, you have escaped me this 
time, out ere to-morrow's sun sets th;)u shalt be mine. 
I'll to the robber's cave. 

Exit Belmont. 

Sto (Business of setting scene.) This is a rocky-pass. 
Jvobber Chief discovered. I'm the Robber Chief. 

Strides up and down the stage and sings. 

Song. — Stock. 

I'm a villain of the deepest dye, 

Or rather I would like to be, 
But no matter liow hard I try 
I never get an opportunity. 
My life rcscmbks tasteless salt. 

Or gingerbread that has no spice. 
But really it is not my fault, 
I'd do anything to plunge in vice, 

I'm such an unfortunate villain, 

A Borgia born out of time; 
Is there never a plan, 
For a poor vv^icked man, 

To accomplish some terrible crime. 



CHIP, OR A manager's trials. 21 

I hear footsteps Who conies hither — comes hither? 
Wiio comes hither — that's the cue, come on! 

Enter Arabella as fairy, R. U. E. Stock nearly 
faints, 

Sto. Great jumping Jupiter! what's that? 

Ara. You said come on. 

Sto. Get your part and come on at the proper time. 
That's the Lordly Villain's cue. (Exit ArabcUa.) I 
hear footste^)s Who comes hither? 

Enter Belmont. 

Bel. 'Tis Roderigo, the Black Knight. 

Sto. (Dramatically.) What wouldst thou with me, 
Lord Roderigo? 

Bel. ( rr.igically.) Beneath yon castle's turreted 
I'oof dwells a maiden fair to see. 

Pomp. (Iiiterrui)ting from L. 1.) Chestnut! 

rhased off hy Stock. Enter Arabella. 

Sto. Now then, go on, 

Ara. Am I <>n now? 

Sto. No, of course you're not on now. 

Ara. (Sweetly.) Well, you said go on. 

Sto. ( Mocl-cing.'i Well, I sa\' go off. 

E.xit Arabella. 

Bel. This maiden mn>t be mine, ei-e shades of night 
have fallen, if you bring the maiden fair to this haunted 
glen (shows [)urse) this purse of gold shall be thy reward. 

Sto. (Takes purse.) It sha'l be done. 

Exit melo-dramatically. 

Bel. Everything goes well. The Robber Chief will 
abduct the nniiden fair and drag her screaming to this 
spot, on hi'u then with drawn sword will I fall, rescue 
the maiden, and then a hero in her eyes, leave schemes 
and plotting toothers and live with her a life of joy and 
rapture. 



22 CHIP, OR, A manager's trials. 

Song. — Belmont. 

With joy my heart has often bounded. 

When one plank parted death and me. 
By threatening sky and wave surrounded, 

And yet T love the inconstant sea. 

To me no stranger, hardship or danger. 
Battling ihe gale that sweeps o'er the main, 

But peril over, who like the rover, 
Finds life so sweet after the pain. 

Sweet lips have blest me, soft hands caressed me. 
In every clime where fate made me roam, 

And woman's greeting (bli.ss all too tleeting), 
Made of the far land almost a home. 

And gentle maiden, beauty arrayed io, 
More than once told me her love in a sigh; 

Heart wildly beating, mule glance entreating. 
All have been mine, yet coldly put by. 

Yet, I am lonely, one woman only. 

Thro' all my being reiijns in my heart, 
Tho' now forever, fate may us sever, 

Lovely unknown, my soul's queen thou art. 

Oh! fairest maiden, one moment laid in 

Those empty arms now lonving for thee. 
Why art thou gone now? AVLy art thou tlown now 

From yon dark rock that hangs o'er the sea? 

Dost thou remember, 'twas in September, 

There is the rock and there is the wave. 
Oh! come again love, solace my pain, love. 

Tell me not vain is the hope you gave. 

Scream heard, enter Stock draacging Chip. 

Bel. Hold! base villain, what wouhl thou with yon 
maiden fair? 

Sto. (Draws.) Back, rash vonth, why tempt thy 
fate? 

Indulge in burlesque sword contest, during which 
Carmen enters, and joins combat, they tight 
up stage and off U. L. E., during combat Chip 
runs off screaming R. 2. Enter Pompey, bur- 
lesques Barret; business, enter Stock. 

Sto. (At table.) Angels and ministers of grace do- 
fend us! What are you doing here? 

Pomp. I'm giving 'em Barret. 



CHIP, OR A manager's trials. 23 

Sto. Well, you just go back to your cage. Don't you 
know the stage belongs to the affrighted maiden. 

Pomp. Well, I didn't see no 'frighted maiden an' I 
tho't now would be a good time to do my turn. 

Sto. ( Produces revolver ) You get. 

Pomp. (Kunningoft.j You bet! 

fcTo. Ready. Mr. Loader? 

l^]iitor Fairy, waving garland. 

Sto. What, you here again! 

Ara. Well, ain't I on now? 

Sto. Well T should say not! (let off the earth! 

Ara. Where will I stand? 

Sto. You don't stand, you fly. 

Stock chases Arabella off. 

Sto. Now then, come on, fair maiden. All right Mr. 
Leader. 

Enter Belmont dragging Chip by back of the 
neck, t(t centre stage. Burlesque nuisic. 

Sto. (Tears hair out and throws at leader.) Great jump- 
ing Jnpiter! What have I done! How did you get on 
here? '! hat's a nice way to bring on an affrighted <lam- 
sel. l)y the l»ack of the neck. 

Pushes Belmont off L. 2, hustles Chip up stage. 

Sto. Now then, affrightened damsel, go up to R.U.E. 
and come on alone Now, Mr. Leader, try again, if you 
please. 

Orchestra plays Rogne's March, Stock rushes 
down front, furiously angry. 

Thafs the sickliest kind of music to bring on an oj)- 
pressed manlen I ever heard. I want something sad and 
pathetic, witli soul in it 

Leadkr. Certainly; you want something sad and ex- 
pressive. 

Sto. Precisely, my dear boy, you understand, I don't 
need to tell you. 

Lkader. I don't need anvone to tell me mj' business. 



24 CHIP, OR, A manager's trials. 

Sto, [Claps hands.] Now then, come on. 

Burlesque music again. Chip enters, tries to keep 
time to music, music makes break, Chip falls. 

Sto [Tears hair in rage ] June, July, August, Sep- 
tember, October, no wonder she fell down. [Chip gets 
up.] No, you don't want any man to tell you your busi- 
ness, you don't; now this thing's got to be done right, if 
it take'^ all day. This is what I want [hums air to lead- 
er]. Now, affrighted maiden, come in and fall on mossy 
hank. 

Ch. Where's the mossy baidv? 

Sto. Here. Now, all ready. Chip enters. 

Ch. Alas! 1 am so weary, I can go uo furtlier. 

Sinks down on bank and falls asleep, 

Sto. Now, come on Fairy; [ say, come on Fairy! 
Drat that Fairy, where is she! 

Ch. She was m my dressing room a minute ago. 

Sto. You're asleep, you can't talk, lay still, .\rabella! 
Arabella! Arabella! I say, [comes down to fiont and 
shouts] Arabella! 

Arabella suddetdy appe.iring by his side. 

Ara. Did you call? 

Sto. Did I call! no, T didn't call, I nmrmured. 

Ch. Do I lay here all day? 

Pomp. Now what's de nxatter wid you? Do you 
want to give de whole show. [Bel. drags rom[). off.] 

Sto. Now x\rabella you go to the back of the stage 
and come on waving wand. 

Ara. I've lost my wand. 

Sto. Well go on and wave something. 

Ara. Wave what? 

Sto. Wave anything, only come on. 

Arabella enters, waving property axe. 

Sto. How did you get that axe? 

Ara. Axidentallv. Stock takes axe. 



CHIP. OR, A manager's TRIALS. 25 

Sto. Well I've a mind to nse it. 

Arabella gets on a box behind Chip and waves 
wand. 

AiiA. Awake, beauteous maiden, awake from thy slumber, 
Thy perils are over, 

Pomp. So says this back number. 

Aka. Rudolph advance, in all thy manly pride, [Enter Car. 

Advance at once, and claim thy promised bride. 

Enter hastily Stock and Belmont. 
Bel. At last I liave thee. 

All draw, cross swords, flats draw on transfor- 
mation scene, all advance to front. 
Stu. AVell. for a tirst rehearsal,! guess that will have 
to go, ii will probably improve befoi'e the performance; 
now what we waJit is a ballad, who'll volunteer? 

All volunteer, great hubbub 

Pomp. You all gib me a pain; .\1assa Stock, let's all 
sing soinethin', nnd you can say which is best. 

Medley — Finale to Act II. 

Ch. See-saw. s 'f-j-aw, now we're up and down. 

See saw. see-saw, now we're off for London town; 
See .saw. see saw, boys and girls come out to play, 
See-saw, see-saw, on this our half holiday. 

All. See-saw. etc. 

Bel The man in the moon is looking, love, 

Winking, love, and blinking, love. 
And each little star se-ms to tell us, love, 
The man iu the moon is looking. 

All. The man in the moon is looking, etc. 

Cii. Bye bye, drowsiness o'ertaking, pretty little eyelid's sleep; 

Bye-bye. watching till thou'rt waking, darling, be thy slumber 
deep. 

Ald. Bye-bye, etc. 

Sto. I'm not a free agent, like any of you, 

There's them as looks arter fate. 
I arsk their advi.se, when I've sum'mat to do, 

Their care and attention is great. 
Whenever I wishes to steal from the night 

A few hotirs for use in the daj', 
Before I knows I'm doin' what's right, 

I see what the dicky-birds say. 
Chirp! chirp, chirp, chirp, in the shrillest tone. 



26 



CHIP, OR, A manager's TRIA LS. 



Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, in a tongue of their own; 

What their warbles and their twitters can convey. 
Taking study and thought for a mind can be bought 

To define what the dicky-birds say. 
Chirp, chirp, chip. 

Local verse for encore, 
Carmenitta and Belmont. 
Hill and valley so dreary, with a light heart we roam. 
And we never are weary while we yodel of home, 
La, la, liche, la, la, la, la, etc. 

Ara. Peek-a-boo! Peek-a-boo! 

Come from behind that chair, 

Peek-a-boo! Peek-a boo! 
I see you hiding there. 

All. Ob, you rascal. 

Peek-a-boo, etc. 
Ch. The simple maid from village green. 

Unused to rich attire; 
Is not afraid of silken sheen, 

To conquest she'll aspire 
Her fingers deft are never slow, 

To fashion a success. 
From fairest maid who does not know, 
A woman's forte is dress. 

All. Ah, ah. 

Cn. Yes, thousrh fashion often ranges, 

We are equal to its changes. 

Though the waists prevailing high up, 

Or the skirt accepted short. 
After bonnets, cap or he id-dress. 
Tuck or lace confined and spread-dress, 

Branching pull-back, puff or tie up. 

And improving quick as thought. 

All. Yes, though fashion often ranges, etc. 

Pomp. I stole all the 'lasses from off the shelf, 

I'm mamma's black baby boy. 
And spilled the lasses clean over myself; 

I'm mamma's black baby boy. 
She sends me to school most every day. 
But I takes my books and runs away. 
And when I come home my mamma does say. 

He's mamma's black baby boy. 
Mamma's baby boy, mamma's baby boy, 
Oh, they say I'm so sweet I'm always so neat. 

I'm mamma's baby boy. 

All, Mamma's baby boy, etc. 

Pomp. She gave me ten cents to buy me some gum, 
I'm mamma's black baby boy, 
But I took it instead and bought me some rum. 

I'm mamma's black baby boy. 
I staggered and fell all over the place. 



CHIP, OR A manager's TRIAL3. 27 

The mild got spattered all over my face. 
And the neighbors all said I was a disgrace, 
But I'm mamma's black baby boy. 

Cu. Should we gain your favor every heart is gay, 

Tra la, la, la, la, etc 
And all rejoicing, we shall go our way, 
Tra la, la, la, la. 

Bel. Let grace, not ire, in your heart abide; 

Let your smile our efforts guide. 

In counsel mild your decision guide, 
For the taste of success is sweet. 
Cn. Tra la, la. la, la, la, la, etc. 

All, Deign pray to cheer each heart 

Kindly, ere you depart, 

A weight of care dismaying, allaying, allaying. 
Say with our efforts we gain here a victory. 

Yes, and 'Chip" triumphantly, 
May long continue to reign. 

(Curtain) 



28 CHIP, OR, A manager's trials. 



ACT III. 



The Performance. 



Sto. Ladies and gentlemen, once again [have the dis- 
tinguished honor of appearing before you in the role of 
beneticiary. For man}' seasons past, each of my sncces- 
sive benefits has eclipsed its predecessor in the beaut}', 
style and magnitude of its audience, and this is no ex- 
ception to the rule, for when I gaze around me upon the 
galaxy of beauty, youth and intelligence all gathered to- 
gether to do homage at the shrine of Alelpomone, repre- 
sented in the person of your hunil)le servant, my heart 
swells with joy and I realise what a glorious thing it is 
te be a Manager, 

For this evening's entertainment I have provided a 
bill-of-fare which has only to be seen to be appreciated, 
consisting as it does of the choicest selections, rendered 
by stars of the first magnitude, both solitaire and in con- 
stellation, the brightness of which [ challenge the world 
to equal. First, I shall have the honor of presenting to 
you Mr, Chas. Belmont, the celebrated tenor, in the beau- 
tiful selection, entitled — 

jSIext, I shall introduce M'lle Carmenitta, the famous 
Italian Prima Donna, in her magniticont morceau — 

Next, I shall have the pleasure of personally introduc- 
ing to your favorable notice — (Specialty.) 

I shall then introduce our beautiful ami charming 
soubrette, M'lle Chip, in her — (Specialty.) 

followed by M'lle Arabella, the Parisian grotesque, in 
the pathetic ballad, entitled, "I'm so Shy." The whole 
matchless olio terminating with the beautiful spectacu- 
lar burlesque, entitled, '-Lurline, or. The Village Maiden 
and the Robber Bold," by the distinguished author — 
actor, Wm. II. Shakespeare Stock. Exit 



CHIP, OR, A manager's trials, 29 

Change Scene. Specialty, Belmont. 

" " Specialty, Carrnenitta. 

" " Specialty, Stock. 

" " Specialty, Chip. 

Pinter Stoci<. 

Sto. Ladies and gentlemen, it is with feelings of 
deepest regret that I appear before yoa this time; 1 hold 
in my hand a letter which explains itself: 

Manager Stock: 

Dear Sir. —I regret to inform you, that owing to severe 
illness, M'lleArabella will be prevented from appearing 
this evening, as she is threatened with a severe attack of 
the measles, and is at the present moment unable to sit 
up and have her bed made. 

Respectfully, 

JOtIN JONKS, M. D. 

Ara. (Rising in audience. ) Oh! 3'ou deceitful viper! 
You ungrateful scoundrel! I'm unable to sit up and have 
my bed made, am I? I'm threatened with the measles, 
am I? Well, I just look like it, don't I? Oh! you needn't 
try to hush me up, I'm going to have my say, and tell 
these good people all about it — 

Ladies and gentlemen, that miserable wretch, whom 
1 loved so fondly and gave £500 to, wrote me this letter 
this afternoon : 

"My Darling Lovy-Dovy. 

I am sorry to inform you that my benefit, which was 
to have been this evening, is unavoidably postponed un- 
til to-morrow evening, at the same time. 

"Your darling popsy-wopsy. 
"WM. H. SHAKESPEARK STOCK." 

You thought you could choke me oft with that, did 
you? but I won't have it. [Starts for stage,] I'll sing 
my ballad, or I'll die. [Climbs on stage.] 

Sto, But my darling Arabella — 
Ara, I'm not your darling Arabella; go away, you 
bother me, its my turn to sing, and I will sing! 



30 CHIP, OR, A manager's trials. 

Sto. But, I say, you can't sing in that costume, 3^011 
know. If you were dressed for the stage they might pos- 
sibly live through it, but in that snow-shed, oh, no! 

Ara. Oh, yes. ihey will; I was all ready for you. I 
dressed and put my ulster on over my dress, see — 

Sheds cloak and appears in ballet dress, pink 
tights and street shoes. 

Sto. But, my dear, your brother; you know ver\' well 
if he comes — (Arabella frightened) you know there will 
be bloodshed and we'll both be in it, 

Ara. i^ow you just go away, I am going to sing. 

Sto. (Throwing up both hands. ) Then I'll escape 
while I have strength. Exit. 

Ara. (Takes oft" bonnet and swings it by the string-;.) 
Sings, "I'm so shy — go away sir — (Orchestra makes dis- 
cord) go away, sir, (discord), now that ain't right; you 
just play it right for me, so I can sing, you think 'cause 
I'm such a timid little thino; you can liave fun with me, 
but you just can't, you nasty man — I'm so shy, go away. 
sir — I'm so shy, (sings part of verse, orchestra keeps on 
getting worse, Arabella keeps her eye on trombone) now 
you just stop, I ain't going to h:ive tbat any moi-e, and 
I'm going to sing this piece or die right here. You're a 
lot of jays anyhow, you don't know a lady when you see 
one. (Goes over to bass viol.) You're the only one 
in the whole lot that has good sense, (explains by hum- 
ming air to him.) Mr. Loader, now you all play it right 
along after him. (Stands in front of Dass and heats time. "> 
Go away, sir, I'm so shy, I'm so shy. (Noise heard at street 
door) I'm so shy, (s'ands on tip-toe and looks toward 
door,) Go away, sir, I'm so shy — 

Crabe. (Enters, struggling with policeman.) I tell 
you I know she's here, and I will come in. 
Ara. I'm so shy — 

Cra. Oh! there you are, are you? (Advances to stage, 
shaking tist.) Come right down this very minute, (Ar- 
abella gathers up dress and flies, C^rabb climbs on stage, 
Pompey enters, sees Crabb,. both pause and stare, Poni- 
pey skips oft".) 



CHIP, OR, A manager's TRIALS. 31 

Cra. (On stage. J I'll find you. 

Exit R. 1, Arabella enters R. 2, runs across to 
L. 3, Crabb follows, flat L. 2 is shoved into 
him, throwing him down, he gets up and runs 
oft'L 2, Arabella opens flat and squeezes through, 
stand irresolute, hears noise, gathers up dress 
and runs oft" R. 2, flats drawn. Stock enters L 
1, followed closely by Crabb. 
Sto. Ladies and gentlemen, I beg your kind indul- 
gence — 

Cra. (Seizing Stock's arm.) Now, then, sir, perhaps 
you'll be good enough to explain what j'ou mean by al- 
lowing my sister to make such an exhibition of herself 
in public 

Sto. [Aside.] Now, I'm in for it. [Aloud.] What 
do you mean l»y your sister, and if it comes to that, what 
do you mean by coming hei'e and interrupting my per- 
formance, on my benefit night, too? 

Cra I'll benefit vou! What have you done with Ar- 
abella? 

Sto. Now. what on earth do yon mean by "what have 
I done with Arabella?" Oh! 1 see, you have mistaken 
the lady who just sang and whom you frightened ott'the 
stage for Miss Arabella, youi sister. 

Cra. Mistaken the devil! don't you suppose I know 
my own sister when I see her? ("ould anj'one ever for- 
get that shape? 

Sto. No, they never could; l»ut I assure you, my dear 
sir, you are mistaken, and if you will take the trouble to 
step down stairs into the srreen-room I will introduce 
you to the ladj^ you mistook for your sister, and thus con- 
vince you, will 3'ou come? 

Cra. No. thanks; if I am mistaken, I don't care to 
make an ass of myself any more. 

Sto. No, my dear fellow, 1 don't think it Avould be 
advisable, especially as nature has been so lavish in that 
direction already. 

Cra. Eh. what? 



32 CHIP, OR, A manager's trials. 

Sto. Well, at all events, wait until after the perfor- 
mance, and then, if you will kindly walk over to ray hum- 
ble abode, I shall take pleasure m showinsj you some of 
the statues I have had made for 3^ou, and which arrived 
only this afternoon. 

Cra. Certainly. 

Stock takes Crabb's arm and they start towards 
L. 2, when Carmen enters from that entrance. 

Car. Mr. Stock, what is the meaning of — [Sees 
Crabb.] That face! 

Enter Chip and Belmont. 

Cra. Chip's sister! [Crabb terrified, Stock hustles 
him off. 

Ch. My sister? 

Car. I felt it, I knew it! My sister! 

Sisters embrace. Tableau. 

Curtain . 



CHIP, OR, A manager's trials. 33 



ACT IV 



Stock's Rooms, 



Enter Arabella, hastily, she is still in ballet dress. 

Ara. Oh! bow frii^btenecl I am, and what a time Vve 
had, its a ver^^ lucky thing for me ray brother did'iit 
recognize me, or we should have had an awful time, but 
Mr. Stock is so clever, he just talked him right out of it 
and brother thinks it was'nt me at all, but I vyas that 
frightened I just slipped out and started for home as 
fast as I could go, when a policeman saw me and halloed 
hello Sa'.ta Chius! nasty thing, scared me so I dropped 
ni}' waterproof and ran right in here. Well, I'm all 
right here, its Mr, Stock's house, and he and I will soon 
be one, won't that be perfectly goi-geous. I do think he 
is just too lovely for anything, I was a little mad at 
him about that note, but it was all a mistake, some 
horiid person wi-ote both of those notes to play a trick 
Oil us, how mean' I'm cold, 1 wish I had my waterproof 
I'll see if I can't tind something to put arround me un- 
til Mr. Stock comes, and then he will take me home. I 
wonder if I could find anything in there, I'll see Exit R.*i. 

Enter Pompey. 
l\>Mi'. Gol'y! ain't we done had a pic-nic — well, I 
guess ]iot. Fought Massa had dis nigger, suah! yah ha! 
ajid Miss Bella, you just oughter seen dat ole gal hussle, 
ah, ha! Well, Massa Stock sent me in heah to wait for de 
restob de gang — Wonder if der's anyfing ter eat 'roun 
heah. I'll hab a S300t 'roun and see. Exit L. 2, 

Enter Arabella, carrying overcoat. 

Ara. There, I'll just slip this on till lovy-dovy comes. 

Tries to put on coat, can't for ballet dress, tries 
in vain, starts to unfasten skirt and hangs 
coat over screen, hears noise. 

Someone is corning, I'll step behind here and take oft' 
these skirts and put on the coat. 



34 CHIP, OR, A manager's trials. 

Goes behind the screen, enter Pompey. 

Pomp. No. clere ain't nofin in dere. 

Arabella throws out skirt, Pompey places hands 
on knees and looks at it. 
Well! I hope I may never, if dere ain't Miss Bella's 
dress, and de ole gal's behind dat screen. 

Tip-toes over to screen and reaches out to gently 
get dress, in doing so knocks coat down on to 
the floor, carries dress down front, Arabella 
rises and looks over screen helplessly at Pom- 
pey, who does not see her. 

Well, I'll be blamed! Now what de debil do dat ole 
gal mean by frowin' her clothes 'way like dat, am she 
gwine to take a baf ? 

Tries on dress, bears noise, runs out carrying 
dress with him, Arabella looks around side of 
screen after him, enter Stock 

Sto. Great jumping Jupiter! but that was a close shave, 
but I got that beggar to think he was mistaken at la-^t, 
and he doesn't suspect that Carmen knows < 'hip to be her 
sister and that we have found him out, I think it is go. 
ing to be exceedingly warm for the baronet shortly, for 
the old fool is coming over here presently to see if tbe 
statues I have had made for him, are satisfactory; well. 
I suspect he'll And them verv much so. But it is almost 
time the girls were here. ( Bell.) That may he them 
now — Hello! what's this? My overcoat ojithe floor. 

Exit, carrying coat, Arabella looks over screen 
at him; sees table with red table eloth on 
across room, carries screen over to table, pulls 
otf cloth into screen, ornaments fall from ta- 
ble, noise, Arabella retreats with screen to 
former position, enter Stock and Carmen. 

Car. Now Mr. Stock, will you kindl}- explain the 
meaning of all these extraordinary proceedings, and tell 
me wh}^ you prevented my confronting the villain I have 
searched the civilized world for? 

Sto. Willinglj^; be seated. (They sit.) I have long 
suspected that Sir Reginald was an imposter, and as soon 
as 3"ou told me your sad story I felt sure that Chip was 



CHIP, OR, A manager's trials. 33 

your sister, but I was unwilling to excite you until I was 
sure. Now, tell me all you know of Crabb. and how he 
has avoided you all these years? 

Car. On the death of my father, he wrote me advis- 
ing me to study for the stage, saying my father had died 
penniless, and that he wouM provide for Elsa, I hastened 
home, but found he had gone, taking Elsa with him, and 
I lost all trace of them untill now. Hut if Crabb is 
an imposter, who was the real Sir Reginald? 

Sto. Your father was. 

Car. My father! 

Sto. Yes. By the merest accident in the world, I 
came into the possession of the torn half of a will, which, 
if we discover the missing half, will clearly establish the 
claim of yourself and Chip to the estates of Sir Reginald. 

Enter Chip hastil}-. 

Ch. Oh, Mr. Stock! Oh, my sister! Oh, my! 

Both. What is the matter? What has happened? 

Ch. (Excitedly ) I have just come from home; the 
whole house is top-side down Lady Reginald has fled, 
to.)k the night express ibr Paris; she left this note for 
Sir Regi'iaid, see; Charlie has gone to the station to see 
it he can get any news of her. 

Sto. All's fair in love and war. Let's open the ene- 
mie's dispatches. (Opens note.) 

"Yon old fool, (that's Crabb) I knew that sooner or 
Liter yon would make a mess of it and discover every- 
thing, and as soon as I found that Carmen was in town 
and that you and Chip and that idiotic Arabella were at 
the theatre. I knew you would give away everything, so 
I take advantage of the only opportunity left me and fly. 
If you have any sense,whieh I doubt, you will follow my 
example, and also seek retuge in a foreign land, but 
not with me, fur I have had enough of your stupidity. 

"SERAPllINA." 

So the principal culprit escapes us; now to bring home 
the charge to her tool — that old fool Crabb. 

Enter Belmont. 
All. Well? 



36 CHIP, OR, A manager's trials. 

Sto. What news? 

Bel. Great news! The night express went over an 
embankment a few miles from town and numbers on 
board are supposed to have been h")st, among them Lady 
Reginald; an engine has just arrived from the scene of 
the disaster, bringing some of the survivors, among them 
Lady Reginald's maid, who had in her possession this box. 
She says Lady Reginald was in the sleeper which, is now 
in flames, and she is therefore, in all probability, burn- 
ing by this time. 

Sto. Has she commenced to burn so soon? A good 
riddance, for she was the principal culprit — but what 
have we here? (Opens box.) Money! and a small box, 

Gives box to Carmen. 

Car. (Opening box.) My mother's jewels! 

Sto. And now for Mr. Cralib. He's coming here to 
inspect the statues; now I intend to have you imperson- 
ate these statues. Now retire and dress. I have instructed 
Belmont, wh<i will show you what to wear and how to 
act. (Chip. Carmen and Belmont exit.) And now for 
the grand linale to Sir Reginald's career. 

Pulls aside curtain of alcove, dis.'b^sing Arabella 
asleep. 

Do my eyes deceive me? (Shaking her.) Now what 
wind blew you in here? 

Ara. I came in here to wait for you and you went 
away with the coat, so I got the table-cloth. 

Sto. Well, I should say you did. Xow the question is 
what to do with you. Here, run in bore, no, Belmont is 
in there; in here, no — (Bell rings.) That's Sir Reginald, 
DOW what am I to do with you? (Rushes frantically 
about. ) 

Cra. (Outside.) All right, I'll hnd the way. 

Arabella sinks on sofa, Stock throws shawl over 
her, enter Crabb. 

Well, here I am. 

Sto. Yes ; how are you? ( Confusedly. ) 

Arabella moves, Stock kicks her. 



CHIP, OR, A manager's trials. 37 

Cra. Well, where are the statues? I am all impatience 
to see them. (Approaches sofa and tries to lift cloth, 
Stock prevents him.) Is that one of them? 

Sto. (Takes Crabb's arm and leads him around.) No; 
that's a small study from the antique, verj beautiful, but 
a little out of date; I'm going to have it tixed up, for in 
its present condition I am positively ashamed of it. 

Ara. (Uncovering head.) Oh, you horrid thing! 

Covers head quickly. 

Cra. What was that? Whv) spoke? 

Sto. Nothing — nobody — that is, it was a parrot I 
bought at auction If you will step into the next room 
and take a glass of wine, while I arrange the figures, I'll 
show you the statues. 

Leads Crabb down to R. 1, Crabb exits. 

Sto. (Uncovering Arabella.) Mow then, quick, be- 
fore he gets back, run into the next room and tell Ma- 
tilda to get you some of her clothes, quick. 

Ar.A. Where is Matilda? 

Sto. Here, come with me, I'll show you. 

Stock and Arabella exit L. 1. Chip enters. 
C'h. I'm dying to know what's going on. 

Sits on sofa, Crabb enters. 

Cra. a small model from the antique, oh! Wouldn't 

let me look at it, now I shouldn't wonder if it was a small 

model tVom the extremely modern (winks) of the "Little 

French Milliner" style of art. 

Chip covers herself with shawl, all except foot. 
Cra. Oh, the rascal! model from the antique; well, I 
rather like the antique. 

Is about to raise shawl when he hears someone 
coming and retreats into K. 1; Pompey enters. 

Ch. Pompey, come here. 
Pomp. What you want? 

Ch. Nevermind what I want, get under this quick. 
Puts Pompey un ler shuwl and harriedly exits. 



38 CHIP, OR, A manager's trials. 

Pomp, Now what am de matter wid ( -hip? 

Covers head, Stock enters. 

Sto, Well, I hope I've got rid of that angel, she'll 
positively be the death of me yet, (Goes to \i. 1.) 8ir 
Reginald. [Crabb enters. 

Cra. Oh, you rascal! is that the sort of statues you 
brought me to see, eh? 

Punches Stock in ribs. 
Sto. What do you mean? 

Cra. Well you have a good taste. It certainly has a 
lovely foot. 

Sto. I wonder what the devil he is talking about. 

C'Ra. Oh, you're sly dog! you are. (Points over shoul- 
der. ) That statue. {D\^s Stock in ribs.] 

Sto. I tell you there's no statue there, I carried it out 
and snnk it. 

Cra Oh, no, that won't do. 

Sto. (Looks at sofa, sees tigure, nearly faints ) What! 
3'ou Dack? 

Cra. Shall I uncover it? 

Sto. Do what you like. If you can survive the shock 
I can. 

Cra. (uncovering Ponipey.) Tlie devil! (Pompey 

lies motionless.) 

Sto. (Roars with laughter.) I say, Crabb, she has a 
very pretty foot. (Digs him in the ribs,) (aside.) I'll Hx 
-Master Pompey for this trick. (To Pompey.) Don't 
you move, or I'll kill you. (To Crabb.) Well, I'll con- 
fess I did play a bit of a trick on you; this is one of the 
statues^ the artist tried him first to get his hand in. (Sets 
l^ompey on pedestal.) Now stand S5till and don't breathe. 

Cra. (Inspects statue with e}'eglass.) Now what did 
you think I wanted with a thing like that? (Poses like 
Pompey, Pom[)ey sneezes, Crabb turns, Pompey assunies 
another attitude, Crabb astonished.) Did that thing 
move ? 

Sto. Cortainiv not. 



CHIP, OR, A manager's TRIALS. 89 

Cral)b turns several times suddenly to catch 
statue, does not succeed. 

Cra Was that the foot I saw? 

Bends over to see foot, Pompey hits him, Crabb 
makes pantomine of astonishment, Stock re- 
assures him. 
Cra. [Leaving Pompoy. J But how about my ances- 
tors, where aie they? 

Sto. [Removing screen, revealing Behnont as an old 
English gentlemen.] This is you father, Sir Arthur 
Bruce. 

Cra. How life-like. It is an excellent likeness. 

Inspects statue. 

Sto. [Removing another screen and revealing Car- 
menitta.] This is your eldest daughter, Carmen. 

Cra. [Starts at first, but regains assurance.] Yes, 
yes, poor child, she died many years ago; how proud I 
should have been of her. 

Sto. Liar! She still lives; a wanderer in foreign lands, 
made so by your villainy, and none know it better than 
you, Nicodemus Crabbs! 

Cra. What do you know! [Excitedly. 

Sto. All. I know that on the death of Sir Arthur, 
you, learning that Sir Reginald had not been in England 
for thirty years, and was not likely to be remembered, 
personated him and got the estates, leaving the daughter 
penniless. 

C'ra, But she was not the heir, that I can prove. (Pro- 
duces half of will.) See, this is Sir Arthur's will; he 
leaves the family jewels and a sum of money to (yurjiien, 
but -The Elms" to — 

Sto. To whom? 

Cra. '1 hat you will never know; as that part of the will 
has been destroyed, the estate will pass to ihe next of kin. 

Sto. Oh! will it? Perhaps I can find the heir. (tCn- 
ter Arabella.) Arabella, ju.st draw aside that curtain 
and show our friend (/r.ilc) the rennini k statue. 

Arabella draws .nrtaiu. revelling ('hip. 



40 CHIP, OR, A manager's TRIALS. 

Cra. Chip! 

Ch. (Stepping lorvvanl and holding np half of will ) 
No, not Chip but Els a. 

Sto. And mistress of -'The Elms." 

Carmen and lielmont turn slowlj'and point fin- 
gers at Crabb, who stands dazed for a mo- 
ment, then rushes from the room, Belmont 
jind Stockdttempt to stop him. Statues come 
forward. 

Ch. No, let him go; he was not the most guilty party, 
and at the present moment I could not wish any one 
harm, I have so much to rejoice at, a sister, [embraces 
f 'armen,] a name, and a faithful lover [embraces Bel- 
mont,] 

Sto. It seems to me that lam the only sufferer from 
this transaction, for I have lost my company and my 
prima donna. 

Car. No, my good, true friend, I will gladly complete 
my engagement with you 

Ch And I will get you one of the biggest and best- 
est companies you ever dreamed of. 

Sto. You overwhelm me, then I too, have everything 
a manager could desire. 

Ara. Everything? 

Sto. Oh! I believe I did forget you. come to my arms. 

Embraces her. 

Ch. Yes, and on your wedding-day dear old aunt Ar- 
abella shall have five thousand pounds. 

Sto Let me embrace you again. 

Ara. And I will play the Fairy Queen at your ne.xt 
benefit? 

Sto. Well, I think I'll draw the line at the Fairy 
Queen. 

Ch. and Car. But you'll let us both sing, won't you? 

Sto. Certainly, you shall all sing; you shall render a 
selection from 111 Trovatorc. 

Ch. No; I should prefer a Spanish s)iig, s)!nethini^ 
soft and sweet like — 



?mp. OR, A manager's trials. 41 

Song. — Chip and Carmen. 

May the saints preserve and watch o'er thee, 

Thro' all thy slumb'ring hours; 
May the life tnat lies before thee, 
Be a pathway screwn with flowers 

Tra la, U, la, la, la, la. Tra la, etc. 
Thro all thy slumb'ring hours. 

Tra la. la, la, la, la, la. Tr* la, etc., 
Be a pathway strewn with flowers. 

Pomp. He's mamma's own sweet little pet. 

He can smoke a real -trong cigarette. 
He's a sugar and candy, sweec matinee dandy, 
He melt if he ever got wet; 
You'll get on if you meet him by chance. 
That his coat is quite short, at a glance, 
He is ligliter than paper, it's the real proper caper, 
To show all he can of his pants 

All Oh! the duie, the butterfly dude. 

The sweet Utile dolly, he talks like a polly, 
The dude, the dude, the butterfly dude. 
Oh. say. did you ever 'get on to" the dude? 

STO. It happened once a learnf^d man a missive did indict, 

'Twas Very strange, but people- could not read what he did 

write; 
The wisest, heads to read it tried, 
With all their might and main 

All The wisest heads, etc 

Sto At last it was disc )ve-ed, To each one's great surprise. 
The wise man ha'l forgotten 
To plainly dot his i's. 

.\ll At last was discovered, etc 

3kl Some think the world was made for fun and frolic. 
And so think I. 

All. And so say I 

Bel Some tliinU i' sitouM always should be melanchollic, 
F(,r groan and sign. 

All For groan and sigh. 

Bel But I, 1 1 ive to sin^ in merry sunshine 
A happy song. 

All a happy song. 

Bel. I love to join the meriy groups in dancing! 
Tis far from wrong. 

All. 'Tis far from wrong. 

Bel. Listen, listen, echoes from tar around. 
Linten, listen, echoes from far around. 
Funiculi Funicula, Funiculi Funicula, 
Echoes far around Funicud Funicula. 

All. Listen, listen, echoes far around, etc. 



42 CHIP, OR, A manager's trials. 

Cab. Love comes like a summer sigh, 

Softly o'er you stealing: 
Love comes, and you wonder why. 

At its shrine you're kneeling. 
Love comes, and the days go by, 
While your fate love's sealing. 
Love some day must come to all. 
Come to all, come to all. 

Ch. Good friends, for your amusement, 

We've played our little play; 
We've done our best to please you. 

Yes, in our humble way. 
And kindly, friends to cheer us. 

Bestow your kind applausf». 

We hardly darr! deserve it. 

Your plaudits give because. 

Refrain We drink good friends to you. 

And cheer ns. kindly do. 

You've added to our wealth; 

.And now for your n turn 
We iJladly drink your health. 

All. We drink good friends to you. 

Clink we wine-glass, the wine-ojlass the wineglass. 
Clink we the wiae-glass and bid our friends >;ood-night. 

( Fiiia' (-nrtaiii ) 



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